Sunday, October 7, 2012

My blog is moving...

I just wanted to let everyone know that my blog will be moving this week to....

www.jaydegray.com

My wonderful husband has helped me to make a space all my own on this big world wide web. Come check out my new digs!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Evolution of a Name


Mom – Mom – Mom – MOMMY

My mind’s at ease with a mere mumble of my name

With malice or muse you may exclaim

Mom please just mention my name



Mom – Mom – Mother – DODDIE

Be mindful of me in this moment  

My maturity has made us opponents

You are no longer an essential component



A mother – mom – ME, could it be?

A miraculous gift growing inside of me

Misery and magic collide

As what was in, now comes outside



Ma, ma, ma – Ma – MaMa

Marvelous joy moves my heart

Magnificent mumbles do not depart

You called me Mama and melted my heart



Mom – Mom – Mom – MOMMY

One moment, one minute, my bug

Mommy merely wants to sip from her mug

I know you need me; here come get a hug



Mom – Mom – Mother – JAYDE KELLY

What tone is this do I detect?

Are you now mirroring your peer’s disrespect?

Does the name mommy no longer carry affect?



Mother – Mom – My Mommy

My baby has matured out of the nest

My soul mourns and cannot rest

I fear I’ve become her unwelcomed guest



Mom, my baby…she’s a Mom!

In those magical moments she held my hand tight

While she moaned I reminded, “It’ll be alright!”

My heart melted watching her miracle come into light.



Mama – Mom – Mother – Mommy

Each name meaning one in the same

With each passing minute you can’t reclaim

The magic and misery that mirrors the name

Friday, July 27, 2012


Housekeeping



Pushing the broom room to room I mutter and brood about my list of to dos

I’ll give you one guess who will clean up this mess…ME that is who!


Sticky fingers speckle the windows, the walls and often my dress

While the laundry perches precariously in baskets and on desks


The menacing dishes look at me with disdain

Relentlessly pursuing me just like a freight train


Abandoned in the halls, on the stairs and often in chairs

Are reproducing shoes; how did we get so many pairs?  


Dust bunnies drift by with a whoop and a cry

Finally coming to rest on my plants that are bone dry


Don’t get me started on the closets, the drawers and the garage full of stuff

Frankly I’m over it; I’ve had quite enough!


But here’s the kicker; the best part of all!

This clutter will never experience a final curtain call.


Thursday, May 10, 2012

God Encounter

Here is a snapshot of me a little over an hour ago…

My face was smushed into the corner of my favorite reading chair. My butt was sticking up into the air. My knees were firmly planted on the ground. My arms freely dangled off the edge of the chair.

Are you seeing it?


Exhaustion, weariness, and anxiety had forced my body into this very unladylike position.

As I knelt there motionless for a few minutes I prayed that the Lord would wash over me and fill me with peace and renewed strength.

Seconds later, my all time favorite praise and worship song came on. I drank in every word and allowed myself to relax. The Lord was answering my prayer!

Finally when my mind was clear and my nerves were calm I asked the Lord to give me a word. As I played Russian roulette with my bible pages I had faith that the Lord would speak to me.

After settling on a random passage, I scanned the pages of my open bible. Almost immediately, my eyes were drawn to the heading, “Rest for the Weary.” My eyes watered with the realization that the Lord loves me so much that he was willing to answer my meager prayer.

Matthew 11: 28-30 Rest for the Weary reads

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The Lord spoke to ME this afternoon! It is little encounters like these that continually remind me that God is real and present in my life. He is not a far off unattainable God but rather an ever present source of help in my times of need.

I realize that the Lord could have been teaching me about surrender, worrying less, the power of prayer, or many other things.  But my mind was solely focused on the fact that it is moments like these that continue to reaffirm how REAL my God truly is.

Have you had a God encounter recently?

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Lost Became Found


One of my biggest fears came true last weekend.  I lost my four year old daughter at a crowded theme park.  One moment she was by my side and the next moment she was gone.  My husband and I searched for about 5 minutes thinking we would find her playing nearby but soon we realized she was nowhere near us.  At that point my mommy instincts kicked into high gear and I demanded that they get security to help us search. 

Ten minutes passed and she was still missing.  The security guards had still not showed up and I was beginning to shake and fear the worst.  Dark devastating thoughts plagued my mind and my hope began to falter.  It was in those moments that I knew I could not find my beautiful little girl but, the Lord could!  I took 45 seconds to call a friend and asked her to pray and to start a prayer chain!  The Lord was a part of this search party and I knew with him all things would work to His glory. 

Fifteen minutes passed and she was still missing. The security guards finally arrived and began to search with us.  I noticed parents glancing at me with those concerned and compassionate eyes.  They recognized the fear in my eyes!  A few women gave me “the nod,” I knew instinctively that they were praying and looking for my baby too.

Twenty minutes passed and she was still missing.  As I rounded a corner I noticed a few of the security guards walking my way.  Between them was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen…my sweet little blue-eyed, blonde haired, sweaty, smiley, baby girl.  As I picked her up I drank in her salty smell, her warm body, and her rosy checks.  She had no idea she was lost!  My playful little four year-old was more concerned about the water area she wanted to play in than the water streaming down her mother’s face! God restored my daughter back to me and I was overwhelmed with gratefulness to Him.

 Now, four days removed from that horrific experience I’m able to recognize some Godly insight concerning “lost” children. Our children can loss their way physically, emotionally and spiritually. I lost my child for 20 minutes but other mothers have lost their children for days, weeks, or years. Some have lost their children to drugs, rebellion, offenses, custody battles, sinful lifestyle choices, running away and more.  No matter the circumstance or duration losing one’s child sends you into a state of panic.

Read how Jacob reacted after he was told that his beloved son Joseph was killed by wild animals in Genesis 37:34-35. (Sidenote: Joseph was not actually killed; he was sold into slavery by his brothers)

Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days.  All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “in mourning I will go down to the grave to my son.” So his father wept for him.

Moms, our children may wind up “lost” at one point or another and our first instinct will ultimately be to go out and find them. Praise the Lord, there will be times when they are quickly restored to us. Seasons will also come when we will have to wait on the Lord to bring them back.  Jacob had to wait a few decades before he saw Joseph again.  Whether it is a few minutes or many years the reunion will still be just as sweet.

Gen 46:29b-30 “As soon as Joseph appeared before him, he threw his arms around his father and wept for a long time. [Jacob] said to Joseph, “Now I am ready to die, since I have seen for myself that you are still alive.”

Our own strength is not always sufficient enough to bring back a “lost” child.  The Lord will have to bring the restoration. Thankfully, the Lord has equipped us with a powerful weapon in times like these…prayer! Continually pray and enlist the prayers of your friends and family because there is power in our prayers.

Matt 18:20 “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

Phil 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I love Philippians 4:6-7! I believe it is written specifically for mothers.  Anxiety is inherit when it comes to serious matters regarding our children. The Lord reminds us to pray with thanksgiving because the breakthrough is coming. Then “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” will carry us through these times of crisis.

 The Lord provides strength and comfort in the fellowship of other Christians during times like these. If your child has traveled down a path that has gotten them desperately entangled in the world, don’t hide!  Take the “45 seconds” to call someone you trust and ask for help.

Mar 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

God is so good to place other people in our path that instinctively know what we are going through.  These people may give you an endearing glance, a squeeze on the shoulder, or hold a comforting conversation with you.  Many of them are strangers and some of them are friends but they are all placed there as a support network from God.  They are there to reassure you that you are not alone in the search party efforts.

Isa 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you, 
Yes, I will help you,                                                               
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Ps 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

 Our children can get so hopelessly lost that it is time to call in the guards. This is when you have to go outside your immediate support network and seek professional help such as, counselors, rehab centers, therapy, detectives, dropout prevention programs, etc. It is incredibly difficult, as a mom, to give up the ropes and ask someone to help pull your child out of hole they have fallen in.

Whether it takes 20 minutes, 3 weeks, or 5 years to find your lost child, take heart because the word of the Lord says, “For this son of mine…he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:24). I pray that you will soon be celebrating, as well.





Lord, I pray that you will find my lost child and bring restoration to our relationship. It is in you that I place all of my trust and hope and I believe you for reconciliation and healing. It is in your holy name I pray. Amen.



Additional Scripture:

 The Parable of the Lost Son: Luke 15:11-32

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Doing it All

The last few weeks my family has been commenting on how tiered, detached and dull I’ve seemed. Those are just the adjectives every woman wants to hear about herself…yah right!  I was noticing these things as well but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Was I depressed or just in a funk? Like any sane women would do, I calculated my period in order to confirm that it wasn’t P.M.S. Then I took a pregnancy test just on the off change that God had a sick sense of humor and my husband’s vasectomy failed….it was negative (sigh of relief).

With hormones in check, why was I feeling this way? I started to do some soul searching and the power of the female brain revealed at least a dozen different things that could be affecting my mood. The list included lack of sleep, dieting, new family stresses, not enough “me” time, not enough time with my husband, lack of exercise, not enough time in the Word and that is just to name a few. No one specific reason felt like the culprit to my blue mood. I eventually put the soul searching to rest and called out to the Lord.

He is such a good God! This morning, I opened my bible to Exodus 18 and a piece of the puzzle was revealed to me. I will paraphrase the chapter for you…

Moses, father in-law, Jethro, came to visit him out in the desert. Moses told his father in-law about everything the Lord had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel’s sake and about all the hardships they had met along the way and how the Lord had saved them. Jethro was delighted to hear all the great things the Lord had done and said, “Now I know that the Lord is greater than all other gods.”

The next day, Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people and they stood around him from morning till evening. Jethro was every worried about Moses. He said, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”

Jethro then gave Moses some advice. He told Moses to be the people’s representative before God and to teach the people how to live holy and follow the Lords decrees. Jethro further instructed him to appoint judges that would hear the minor disputes and save only the difficult cases for Moses. Moses listened to Jethro’s sound advice and did everything he said.

Moses was doing it all! Does that sound familiar ladies? How often do we take on more than we can handle and then feel guilty if we don’t do it all perfectly? After reading this chapter I hovered over Exodus 18:18, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”

About a month ago, God called me to something new and I felt a check in my spirit to clear a few things off my plate. After a minor dusting of my duties I concluded my work was done…there was room for my new calling. I can now openly admit that I was still trying to do it all!

A wise woman in my life has encouraged me to determine what my top priorities are in life and to make sure those areas are well taken care of. Then if time and energy allows partake in the other activities. Balance can be hard to achieve but is always worth the effort.



Here is a link to a Priority – 30 Day Challenge worksheet http://www.chalenejohnson.com/30daychallenge/media/Priority-Worksheet-Day2.pdf

Monday, April 9, 2012

What’s the Plan?


What’s the Plan? How often do you find yourself saying those words? Personally, I say it almost every day. In the mornings, I discuss plans for the day with my daughters and most evenings my husband and I compare notes on the week’s agenda. 

For better or for worst, I am a woman with a plan; from pregnancies to parties to career. I don’t want to be caught off guard and I want to know that all the loose ends are tied up.

Presently, God is challenging me to lay down my plans and to trust in His plans. Our family is facing some difficult decisions in regards to my grandma’s health. Every inch of my being is screaming to, “MAKE A PLAN!” but at this point the situation is very fluid so future plans cannot be made.

The Lord has been bringing to my mind one of Grandma’s favorite sayings, “If the good Lord wills it.” Meaning, if it be the will of God then, yes, she will make it to the bookstore, to the doctors, out to lunch, etc. With this simple statement, grandma is always reminding herself to keep Gods plan in focus not her own.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Over 89 years of righteous living, Grandma has come to the realization that no matter how much she plans or worries it is His plan which will ultimately prevail.

Pro 19:21   Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.
The Lord’s plans are always bigger and better than what our human minds can conger up. He can see the whole picture; where as we are lost in the fine details. I was reminded of God’s “big picture” plans this week while reading Exodus 13:17-18.

Exd 13:17-18   When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.

So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.

The Israelites were at a tentative place in their walk with the Lord. He knew that great opposition could very easily send them running back to Egypt. The Israelites, like us, had their own idea of what God would do. They believed that they would have to travel through Philistine country and would face the possibility of war so “the Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.” They had their own plan but little did they know that God’s plan would far exceed anyone’s expectations. The Lord was looking at the big picture.

By leading them through the desert towards the Red Sea, the Lord would perform an awe inspiring miracle of parting the Red Sea. “And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.” (Exd. 14: 31)

Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Although I may continue to make plans, I have decided to let go of the reigns and know that ultimately the Lord determines my steps. After all, I don’t want to miss a Red Sea moment in my life! Do you?

In the words of my Grandma, “If the Lord wills it, I will post again soon.”